Hey Friends:

I hope you are all having a great week!

Just wanted to let you know that I created a free insomnia self-help guide for anybody interested in learning about how to apply cognitive behavioral therapy – the frontline treatment for chronic insomnia – to their lives. The strategies discussed include time in bed restriction, stimulus control, relaxation therapies, and cognitive therapy, which are all powerful strategies that my patients have significantly benefited from during therapy.

If you’re interested, just shoot me a message at parkylau@simplymentalhealth.ca and I’ll send the document to you. You can also use the Contact Me page and just send a message there! Looking forward to hearing from you 🙂

Wishing you a fantastic rest of your day-

Warmly,

Parky

P.S. If you live in Ontario, Canada (Toronto, Milton, Mississauga), I provide CBT for Insomnia as part of my formal training as a Clinical Psychologist. Learn more here!

What does it take to get good sleep?

When we have insomnia or sleep is not coming easily, we become frustrated. Something that was once so effortless has turned into an entire ordeal.

The post provides the secret formula to increase the likelihood that sleep will take us away. I use this language because we can’t force sleep to happen. I’m sure you have tried to force sleep to happen, and it probably didn’t work. Sleep is ultimately an automatic process and it is largely uncontrollable in terms of falling asleep. However, we can set the stage for sleep to take us away if we understand the sleep principles.

I won’t waste your time. Here’s the secret formula:  

High Sleep Drive + Good Circadian Timing + Low Arousal = Great Sleep

That’s it. If we can make these three things happen, sleep is much more likely to come. Now, let’s talk about what these three things are and how do we optimize them to sleep well.

Getting High Sleep Drive

Sleep drive is our appetite for sleep. The more we are awake, the more our body’s system puts pressure on us to want to sleep. If we can build up a lot of sleep drive by the end of the night, we will be able to get higher quality consolidated sleep.

If we want to have high sleep drive, then we need to limit how much time we spend in bed. If we are sleeping 6 hours but spending 9 hours in bed, then our ability to build up sleep drive reduces. Instead, bring your time in bed to closer to how much time you are sleeping and spend the rest of the time up and active. Avoid naps. If you can stick to these strategies, you’ll have a lot of sleep drive at the end of the night to use for sleep.

Having Good Circadian Timing

Everybody’s biological clock is different. Some of us our night owls, others early birds, and some are in between. Going to bed at the time that your body desires is most helpful to reduce discomfort.

As well, it is important to keep our internal circadian clock nicely synced onto the clock on the wall. This means regularizing our schedules, getting sunlight in the morning, and keeping to a generally consistent sleep/wake period.

Reducing Arousal

Now that we have built up a high amount of sleep drive and kept to a consistent schedule to help with our circadian rhythm, we are well set for success.

However, anxiety can sometimes be the enemy of sleep. This makes evolutionary sense because we don’t want to be awake if there’s a threat around – like a bear. But if we want sleep to come more easily, we need to make sure that we are generally relaxed by the time it is bed time.

Relaxation exercises, winding down with an enjoyable activity, and not pressuring yourself to sleep can all be helpful strategies to reduce arousal. Remember that we cannot force sleep to happen, so trust in your body’s wisdom and simply let sleep unfold.

Best wishes,

P

Each of us a unique chronotype – our body’s preference for when we prefer to wake up and go to sleep. That’s why we have terms like night owls and early birds.

Having different chronotypes is typically not a problem. But sometimes, our body’s preference for when we wake up and go to bed might not be a good match with needing to go work in the morning. For example, a night owl might prefer to go to bed at 2:00 am and wake up at 10:00 am, but they have to get up at 7:00 am for work. When this mismatch causes problems in our lives, we can be diagnosed with delayed sleep phase disorder.

There are a lot of night owls out there who want to sleep earlier and adjust their schedule. My first recommendation is to see if there’s a way we can accommodate our night owl lifestyle. It’s easier to follow our body’s clock rather than fight it. For example, you might get your clothes out and breakfast set up before sleeping so you don’t have to wake up as early.

If that’s not possible, there’s a way to shift our schedule little earlier so that we can get up and out of bed earlier based on sleep science.

Below, I discuss six strategies to shift your internal clock earlier and turn yourself from a night owl to an early bird (or at least closer to one).  

Strategies to fall asleep and get out of bed earlier

1. Get up earlier with an alarm: Super obvious but we can’t get to bed earlier if we don’t wake up earlier. By getting out of bed early, you’ll build up more appetite for sleep because you’ll be a little bit sleep deprived. It’ll be hard at first, but do your best to get out of bed at your desired time using an alarm. You can set an alarm further away which forces you to get up. Afterwards, do something activating to get your body going (take a walk, splash yourself with cold water, listen to music, call a friend/family member).

2. Get some sunlight: Getting light early in the morning signals to our brain and circadian rhythm that it is time to get up. If we do this on a consistent basis, our brain will start sending alerting signals earlier in the day, which makes us feel more comfortable waking up early.

3. Avoid naps: Naps are a like a sleep snack and will take away some of our appetite for sleep. If we take a daytime nap because we are sleepy, it makes it much harder to fall asleep later at night. If you’re feeling sleepy, try your best to stay the course (unless there are safety risks).

4. Plan a winddown period at night: It’s important to make a distinct break between work time and resting time. For an hour or two before your planned bed time, it’s helpful to keep the lights a little dimmer and do something relaxing and enjoyable. This can be whatever you enjoy, such as watching re-runs, doing crossword puzzles, or yoga.

5. Address obstacles that could get in the way: For some people, they constantly have something else that needs to be done. By the time they are ready for bed, it’s already 1:00 am which will make it hard to wake up the next morning early. Therefore, it’s helpful to think about what would get in the way of going to bed and getting out of bed at the desired time. Think about how to plan your life so that you can keep to your new schedule.

6.  Don’t go to bed if you’re not sleepy: It’s a little counterintuitive, but we don’t want to go to bed early if it means going to bed when you’re not sleepy. Otherwise, we end up in a situation where we might start associating the bed with being awake. Instead, it’s helpful to wait until you are sleepy before going to bed at night (though you should still try to keep to the desired wake-up time with an alarm).

Best wishes,

P

Nobody wants to hear the alarm ring at 7:00 am when you’re deep in your favorite dream or cozying up in the delicious warmth of your bedcovers. However, you have to get to work, or you promised yourself that you would go hit the gym before school starts. So you can’t be missing your alarm or hitting the snooze button 15 times before you finally roll out of bed.

This post helps to provide some strategies to avoid sleeping through the alarm clock or snoozing until noon.

Following Alarms: The Motivational Side

Before going into problem-solving, it’s important to know why you are wanting to set the goal in the first place.

It’s possible that your internal body clock operates on a night owl time and you prefer to go to bed and get out of bed a little later than most folks. Ask yourself: “if I could sleep in a little, would that be helpful?” If the answer is yes, I’d make a vote towards following your internal clock because it’s easier to ride with it than to fight against it.

That being said, some folks need to get out of bed early for work. And others find that the snoozing isn’t helpful and only keeps them feeling crappy in the morning.

There are a few reasons why snoozing the alarm might actually lead to poorer sleep. First, the constant ringing of the alarm is artificially breaking up your sleep. You are essentially poking holes into the sleep by constantly being awoken by the alarm. If your goal is better sleep, it may make sense to either 1) set the alarm a little later until when you actually have to wake up or 2) get out of bed at the first alarm. The first option allows you more uninterrupted sleep and the second option allows you to get out of bed to build up more appetite for deep sleep the next night.

A second benefit of keeping to an alarm is to regularize your schedule. When we have very different wake up times every day, we create symptoms of jet lag, which actually makes us feel worse on a daily basis. Getting up at the same time (and getting some sunlight) keeps our circadian rhythm regular and us feeling good.

Finally, staying in bed and snoozing can make us feel groggier. Just like an object in motion will stay in motion, Newton’s law also applies to our sleep – if we stay in bed, we will continue to feel the inertia to continue staying in bed. Therefore, it is helpful to get out of bed and start your day to feel more energetic faster.

Following Alarms: The Problem-Solving Side

Now that you have considered the pros and cons of getting out of bed, we can figure out some solutions to your alarm problem.

A simple tip that works well is to simply make the alarm louder and move the alarm further away from you. If it’s louder, it’ll wake you up. If it’s further away, it’ll make you have to get out of bed to turn it off.

Once you get out of bed, you are starting to break the inertia. Follow that momentum by doing something more activating. For example, taking a walk, drinking some water, and getting some sunlight.

If you notice the urge to get back into bed, try to remind yourself of the benefits of staying out of bed. And make it easy to do so – for example, just sitting upright on the couch is better than lying back down in bed. Treat yourself to something that you look forward to, like a coffee or a nice cup of tea.

Finally, if you’re a social butterfly, sometimes it’s a lot easier to follow the plan if there is someone to hold you accountable. Perhaps plan a breakfast with a friend or a call with mom.

Best wishes,

P

For many people who struggle with insomnia and sleep, blue light is often a huge concern. They worry that exposure to blue light, such as through the TV or phone, can interfere with their sleep. Consequently, they avoid blue light like the plague.

But is blue light really something to be feared?

Overall, the research suggests that there can be a relationship between blue light exposure and impacting our circadian rhythm. For example, light exposure in the evening can sometimes push our bedtimes into a little later at night.

However, the research tends to be a little overstated and requires a fair amount of nuance. Let’s get into this a little more deeply.

Issues with the research on blue light and sleep

There are a number of limitations with the research on blue light and sleep. Most studies investigating this relationship tends to be limited in sample size and done in an artificial setting. For example, having participants stare at a bright light for hours. Consequently, the results of these studies may not be very applicable to real life situations.

As well, there’s a fair amount of research that may have never been published because they did not find significant results. This can skew findings to make it seem like the effects of blue light on sleep are stronger than they might really be.

Special considerations about blue light

Still there are some considerations when dealing with blue light.

One of the important findings about the impact of evening light on sleep is that it depends on how much light you get during the day. It’s the relative amount of light that really impacts sleep. For example, if you have been outside during the day and got some sunlight (which can be up to 100,000 lux– lux being a measure of light intensity), the amount of light you get from a phone screen (10 lux) is very minimal by comparison.

The nugget of wisdom here is that evening light from screens is unlikely to impact sleep if you have gotten a decent amount of sunlight during the day. However, if you haven’t had a chance to get much sunlight, it is possible that the light from screens could affect your sleep and delay your rhythm. One thing I would encourage is to avoid too much light if you are awake in the middle of the night. This is because we have habituated to the darkness and the light becomes relatively stronger compared to the dead of night.

Another important factor is distance from the light. The further we are from the light source, the less impact it has on our sleep. In this case, if we are watching TV, the amount of blue light that reaches our eyes is inconsequential. But if we are putting our phone very close to our eyes, this may more impact on our sleep.

Finally, not all effects of blue light on people’s sleep is equal. If we are more of an early bird, and we go to bed usually pretty early, it may not be too big of a deal for our sleep to be slightly delayed. In some cases, it might even be preferred!

On the other hand, night owls might benefit from a longer winddown period and less exposure to evening light if they want to be able to go to bed a little earlier.  

Amount of light vs content of the screen

Perhaps more important than the amount of light on the screen on our sleep is actually the content on the screen. For example, if we are reading a very exciting book on our Kindle or watching a spooky movie on Netflix, this likely will impact sleep more than the light exposure itself. We may be too interested to put the book down or too anxious after the scary movie to sleep well.

Therefore, while it’s not a terrible to use screens in the evening, I would encourage something light and relaxing – like a nice rerun of Friends or a nice book that you know you can put down.

Do’s and Don’ts of Blue Light

Here are some recommendations that may be helpful to limit the impact of screens on our sleep:

• Do try get some sunlight during the day to reduce the relative impact of screens on sleep
• Don’t use your screens to watch anything too alerting before bed
• Do try to include a winddown period and limit screen time especially if you are a night owl  
• Don’t be too frightened about blue light!

Best wishes,

P

In order to set the stage for sleep, it is important to be in a fairly relaxed state. One question that some folks have is: “How do we plan our evening to increase the changes that sleep will take us away when we finally go to bed?” This is where winddown periods come into play.

Winddowns are a way to let our body and brain know that we are transitioning from the busy-ness of our day into the calmer parts of the evening. This tells the brain that it is time to send less alerting signals so that we can start feeling sleepier.

This post provides some information on how to set your winddown in a way that is likely to be most effective.

Creating a break between work and relaxation

There are some people who continue to engage in activating behaviors throughout the evening. They may continue to respond to emails, watch scary movies, or do heavy exercise before bed. Although these activities may not be a huge problem for some people, the excess arousal from these activities may affect our sleep.

Therefore, it can be helpful sometimes to set a time where create a break between work and winding down. For example, you might place away all your work material and dim the lights so you know this is a time to unwind and relax.

You can choose the time that works best for your life. For example, if you typically sleep at 11:00pm, you might consider starting this process a couple hours before so you can enjoy a more relaxing evening.

Scheduling a worry time

Worrying in bed is very common, but this worry can be tricky because it can get in the way of sleep. Moreover, it’s usually not particularly helpful because we just think about the same idea over and over again.

Scheduling a worry time in the early evening can be a nice way to get down all the worries that might plague you at night. You might write down the main things you expect to worry about and a possible solution to resolve the issue. In the case where there is no particular solution, you can still journal it down. By writing through your worries, you can process the information and that can lead to less emotional distress.

If the worries come back at night, then you can remember that you already wrote all this down earlier and rest assured.

Make the winddown period enjoyable

People sometimes feel compelled to do a winddown period for the sake of sleep. However, forcing sleep never goes well. Instead, the winddown period should not be intentionally for trying to fall asleep, it should just be something you enjoy.

You can absolutely watch TV, listen to music, do crossword puzzles – whatever feels right for you. If you have gotten some sunlight during the day, I would not worry about the effects of blue light. Typically the research suggests that blue light from screens are not likely to significantly affect your sleep (unless you are a night owl who has been inside all day). If you prefer dimmer lights, that can be a nice cue for your brain to know it is time to sleep.  

For those of you who are night owls who want to sleep a little earlier, it’s best to start your winddown period an hour or two before bed and engage in behaviors that are fairly enjoyable and relaxing.

Go to bed when sleepy

Try not to get into bed just because you feel like it’s time to sleep. This can lead to feeling frustrated in bed because we are not able to sleep, and over time our bed can become a place filled with wakefulness and distress. Instead, I encourage you to follow your body’s sleep cues. Notice when you are starting to nod off and then that’s your cue to head to bed.  

I wish you a great and relaxing winddown this evening! If you’re looking for a permanent solution for stress and anxiety at night, here is a book that I wrote on treating insomnia: The Insomnia Paradox.

Best wishes,

P