Many people often think of acceptance as the same as giving up or staying stagnant in our lives. They view acceptance as bad and the enemy of change.
However, there is a lot of power in acceptance. In fact, acceptance has formed the core of more recent ‘third wave’ therapies, such as acceptance and commitment therapy and dialectical behavior therapy. These acceptance-based strategies that are based in Eastern philosophies focus on letting go in order to reduce suffering.
In acceptance-based therapies, clinicians like to use a lot of metaphors. One metaphor that I really enjoy and is a great example of the power of acceptance is the beachball analogy.
We are often focused on the thing that is making us unhappy. Maybe we are not at the college that we really wanted to attend. Perhaps there is a coworker we really dislike and wish they would go away. Or we are just trying to push away feelings that we don’t want to have.
In many of these cases, we spend a lot of time either pushing away the bad thoughts, feelings, or experiences. It’s kind of like when we are constantly pushing down a beachball in the ocean. We try to push away these distressing experiences, and we spend all our time and energy in making the bad thing go away.
Unfortunately, what we resist persists. And the beachball will make its way back up to the surface from time to time. Our efforts are in vain.
In acceptance, the idea is to let go of this constant resisting. Instead of pushing the beachball down, we simply let the ball go and allow it float around. And instead of focusing on the beachball, we focus on the beauty that surrounds us. We can play in the water, or we can make sandcastles on the beach. We can enjoy the sunset as the rays of light glisten on the ocean’s surface.
And sure, the beachball might pop from time to time. But that’s okay. Because by accepting that the beachball might be around, we can spend our time on the most important things in our lives.
Just the same, I invite you to think about whether there is something in your life that you are resisting – maybe it’s a painful emotion, maybe it’s a chronic condition, or someone you really dislike in your life. This is your own beach ball. And see if you can decide to let go of constantly pushing it away, accept that experience into your life, so that you can enjoy the rest of the beach. Maybe make a sandcastle while you’re there.
Best wishes,
P
Simply mental health 