Social anxiety disorder is a fear of negative evaluation – meaning that a person gets anxious in social situation because they worry about what the other person thinks about them. For example, in a presentation, they may fear other people thinking that they are boring, sound stupid, or that they can see them blushing or sweating.
There are a number of different situations that can lead to anxiety, such as presentations, meeting unfamiliar people, going parties, taking tests, eating in front of other people, making a phone call, and initiating a conversation.
Common thoughts in social anxiety include:
- “They probably don’t want to talk to me”
- “I sound so stupid right now”
- “They can probably see that I am sweating and being awkward”
These thoughts lead to increased anxiety, which then leads to a desire to avoid social situations. Avoidance can come in many forms. Some are more obvious – such as not going to a party at all – and others are more subtle – like bringing a close friend, drinking alcohol, or avoiding sharing too much about themselves.
Fortunately, there are a number of research backed strategies that can reduce symptoms of social anxiety.
Evidence-based strategies for social anxiety
In CBT, there are two main ways to work with social anxiety: cognitive and behavioural.
In cognitive therapy, the idea is that we work on the unhelpful thoughts that maintain social anxiety. For example, people with social anxiety often have thinking errors such as mind reading and fortune telling – “she probably does not want hang out with me” or “I’ll do terribly on this presentation.
To work on these thoughts, we can use a thought record. This allows us to systematically evaluate the thought by using facts. For example, is there any evidence that somebody does not like you? Or have you ever done well on presentations in the past?
The idea isn’t to fully change your mind; it’s just to find a more balanced thought that is grounded in reality.
For behavioural strategies, the most effective technique is the use of exposures. Here, we challenge our fear of social situations by exposing ourselves to them without avoiding. For example, some of my past patients have done exposures like making small talk with the Uber driver or going to a game night by themselves. We can do exposures in a gradual way to support.
SMART Goals for social anxiety
Here are a few SMART (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, Time Bound) goals that can support work to deal with social anxiety. The idea is to make goals that are specific and relevant to your situation and fears, and increase the likelihood that they will be done by making them achievable and by placing them on a time limit.
Examples of SMART goals:
- Complete one thought record a day on an unhelpful thought
- Smile and say hello to 5 people
- Make a phone call for an appointment without preparing
- Have a conversation with the Uber driver by asking them about their day
- Practice a presentation with a friend or close person
Of course, you’ll want to choose SMART goals that will give you the best bang for your buck, and is something you feel confident that you can do!
Best wishes,
P
Simply mental health 